I have always wondered if men actually understand what they are going into when they pledge to stay with a certain woman for the rest of their lives. This is important because it would seem to me that they are bored throughout the ceremony and the women are the ones more concerned with preparing the event, the nitty-gritty etcetera. Men, please pay attention. It is from preparing for this event that your parents-in-law assess your ability to care for their daughter.
It is from here that the bride checks out her future husband. Does he even care? Bride: Can we go and look at the hall? Bridegroom: The hall is good the way it is. No, No, No! Go and check
i) Because that is what she wants
ii) Because even if you are okay with her position, your going gives you a leadership position
iii) Because she wants your view. It’s important to her.
Note: Don’t get carried away by your friends at the venue and forget that your bride can trip and fall over in her high heels if you don’t help her get up the stairs. Don’t even as much as look at another girl one kind at this venue. It might be where the crack in your marriage begins. Have eyes only for your bride even as you prepare. Do not allow any embarrassing situation ahead of the event.
Women can be very emotional and more often than not with good reason. So for your preparation towards this big day, here are books that will set you aright and steady you for the day.
1. The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to being a groom by Mark Rung is a unique guide that covers all details aspiring husbands need to know. This edition features a new chapter on ways to wow the bride. While this may be very western, it is still a good book to grab to prepare you in more ways than one for the big day
2. Seek for a letter to his son who was to become a bridegroom by former American President Ronald Reagan. I read this letter from an old edition of Reader’s Digest but you might find it on google. One of the most phenomenal letters and information for an aspiring bridegroom I have ever read. Touching, factual, sensible and beautiful. Ronald Reagan wrote this long before he became President and the words have continued to be read by many young bridegrooms and old ones as well. Truly words of wisdom from a man whose love for his wife was remarkable to the very end.
3. The Everything Groom Book: A survival guide for men. This book is what it says it is, helps you through the emotional roller coaster of suddenly finding that you are no longer single and how to choose a wedding location and date and guess what it offers advice on when to hold back.
4. Any modern day Nigerian romance book that gives an idea of how Africans get married. Also the many bridal magazines available in Nigeria today. They give tips on the best photographers, venues, aso-oke weavers and suit shops. They also tell you who is making the best small chops, cocktail managers and event decorators. These magazines are lifesavers.
5. All the magazines that women tend to be endeared to are; Genevieve, Today’s Woman (Nigeria), Vogue, InStyle, etcetera. These give you perspectives on what women are thinking about, many things including emotional hangovers and the communication skills you so badly require to be a good husband
About the Author;
Eugenia Abu is a news correspondent, writer and a columnist for DailyTrust.
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